Borg Qbe
by hermione-of-vulcan
Summary: After the events of "Dark Frontier", Q chats with Janeway about the Borg. More of an exercise in Q's point of view than anything else.


One day, in my wanderings around the multiverse, I happened upon the area of space known to humans as the Delta Quadrant. Why they label things with letters from an ancient language is beyond me, but I suppose "Our current location is the Delta Quadrant" sounds more impressive than "We're in that area of space very far away since we're just puny mortals and can't get ourselves back." And I'm all for impressive. Anyhow, in that area of space there lives a race called the Borg. The way they repeat their catchphrases "You will be assimilated" and "Resistance is Futile" like mantras, their toddler-like "I see it, I assimilate it" attitude, and their plodding mechanical walk, they're laughable. But, you see, humans find them terrifying because when one is assimilated, one loses one's sense of "me". And there's nothing humans value more than their egos, though they prefer to call it "individuality".

Well, anyway, since I find them amusing, I like to pop in occasionally and see what they're up to. Especially if they're in conflict with my pet race, humans. (That's why I introduced them to Jean-Luc. He needed someone to take a pin to his overinflated ego.)

So, when I happened upon that area of space where the Borg live, imagine my surprise when I found they _were _in conflict with humans. Not only that, they were up against Voyager and Janeway, my second favorite starship and captain in Starfleet (the first, of course, being Jean-Luc and his ship). That alerted me to the fact that I hadn't visited Voyager in a while, which made me want to drop in on Kathy and chat.

Being an omnipotent being, my wish is my command. So I dropped in.

"Hello, Kathy," I whispered in her ear.

"Q!" she cried, whipping her hand around to slap me away with such force that her coffee cup went flying across her ready room. "I've already made it clear I'm not interested in you!"

I evaded her hand by teleporting to the other side of the room, where I caught her coffee cup.

"If I wanted _that_, I'd go to your resident drone. Coffee?" I held out the cup with a friendly smile.

Her eyes narrowed, and she snatched the cup out of my hand. "How do you know about Seven?"

"And here I was, under the impression that you were one of the smarter humans! I'm _omniscient_!

"Of course," she said coldly. "And Seven's not a drone, she's an individual who used to be a drone."

"My bad," I said lightly. "Fascinating species, aren't they, the Borg? So single-minded."

"Fascinating is one word for it," she grumbled.  
"Been having trouble with them lately?" I asked sweetly.

"Yes," she replied. "None of your business." She then pretended to immerse herself in some work on her computer screen.

"I'm a force of nature, everything is my business." I tilted my head towards her. "If you feel like venting, I'm all ears." For good measure, I sprouted a few extra.

"Now, that's just disgusting," she said, and the extra appendages promptly vanished. "And if you're omniscient, you already know what happened."

"Yes, the Borg wanted your Borg because she's an individual," I recited. "But I want to hear what _you_ think about the Borg's new interest in individuals."

"What makes you think I'll tell _you_ my feelings on a philosophical issue?" Her voice was about as gentle as acid, but I paid it no mind.

"Well, _I_ think it's interesting that the Borg, famous for sucking away personality, are interested in an individual." I leaned casually against her desk. "I want to see more of this behavior. It's quite a refreshing change."

"Well, _I _don't want to see more of them kidnapping Seven," Janeway said, sounding bitter. "So don't expect me to agree with you." She turned back to her screen.

"Attached to the Borg babe, aren't we?"

"Her name is Seven of Nine," she snapped.

"That's not a name, it's a number," I replied wittily.

"It's her name," Janeway said, then pretended not to notice me again. I waited patiently, though it was starting to get annoying, the way she kept pretending I didn't exist. One cannot deny my existence! I am Q!

She looked up after a few minutes with an exasperated look on her face. "What do you want, Q?" she sighed, running a hand over her forehead. "Get it over with."

"Oh, nothing. Just to chat," I said casually.

"We chatted, now leave."

"In a bad mood, are we?"

"I just fought the Borg and I'm sitting in a room with _you_. What do I _not_ have to be happy about?" My, my. Her sarcasm was starting to rival mine.

"Oh, burn," I said calmly.

"Get off my ship, Q!" she ordered.

"How can I refuse a lady?" I said, sweeping a bow.

I saw her roll her eyes before I disappeared off to other adventures.

**A/N Standard disclaimers apply.**


End file.
